Dating Tips For Women - Get Them Straight From Your Experienced Friends

Dating Tips For Women - Get Them Straight From Your Experienced Friends
By Courtney Y Johnson

Are you still looking for the right man to bring you down the aisle in the near future? Have you been dating for a long time now and still haven't found the man of your dreams? Don't give up just yet.

Perhaps your dating techniques aren't helpful enough. Maybe you've already met your own Prince Charming but you were just too hesitant that he gave up or you were too easy in accepting strangers that he feared being committed so soon.

You see, there are so many implications of your behavior while dating. Men, just like women, are observing their partner's character through the actions and emotions they display during the dating stage. From the moment he sees you walking in through the restaurant to the way you smile, you sit, you talk, you order, and everything you do after you first date.

While there are many dating tips for women you can find on the Internet these days, dating experts highly recommend genuine tips from those people close to you who have been there such as your best girl friends.

For one, learning by experience provides you practical know how's on going about it, particularly if it's your first time.

Secondly, your friends who have been there will give you valuable insights on things that men look for in women. Whether it's your first time or not, keep yourself calm. Try to relax and be just yourself. While you wanted to look perfect, don't forget to show the real you because that's what real men are looking for.

Thirdly, your experienced girlfriends will definitely give you pointers on how to spot a loser. You can do this by choosing the right activities during your first date. Your activities should focus more on knowing the other person.

Fourthly, the experience of your friends will also help you know the do's and don'ts in dating. Here are some:

1. Dress properly to impress. Wear attractive but comfortable clothes. Style your hair neatly. Put on just a simple make up.

2. Don't talk too much about yourself. Sharing your whole life story the first time you meet usually ruins everything.

3. Do not drink too much or you might lose control.

4. Honesty is the best policy. If you look forward to building relationship with this guy, be honest no matter what.

5. Be courteous not only towards your date but even to those around you. After all, the character of a person is best seen by the way he or she treats others.

6. Be patient. No matter how amazing your date was, play hard to get. Wait for him to do the first move. If he doesn't call or text you after 2 weeks, then it simply means he doesn't deserve you.

7. Move on. Keep on dating. After all, every woman is born with her own Prince Charming!

For women looking for tips and advice on dating, visit the website http://www.Dateandsimple.com

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How to Save Your Most Valuable Relationship

How to Save Your Most Valuable Relationship
By Rahul Shariff

Do you have problems in your relationship? Do you really care about it? Do you want to save it? Most individuals encounter some problem in their relationship at some point of time but if the problem continues unabated, you will need to look at it and try to find an amicable and lasting solution. So how do you save your relationship?

Relationships are precious and if you are really intent to save it from disaster there are many simple steps that will help you win back the love of your life. Here are some simple tips in how to save your relationship.

• Most relationships start going downhill as we fail to communicate our thoughts and opinions with our loved ones. So first and foremost, you will need to open the channel of communication. It is one of the most effective ways to save a relationship from failing. However do remember to be kind and courteous while you communicate and avoid hurtful remarks and references.
• All of us tend to be charming and try to woo the loved one during the initial stages of a relationship but after we get over this phase we tend to take things for granted. Dress well and make the effort to create the magic again in your relationship.
• Learn to express your feelings. Everyone admires an individual who is open, frank and honest. There are various ways to compliment and express your admiration for your loved one.
• Keep the excitement alive by surprising each other. For instance you can organize a surprise party for her/his friends or get her/him something they love.
• It is very common to commit mistakes in a relationship. Accept your mistake and apologize genuinely. Most people tend to forgive past mistakes if the apology and repentance is genuine.
• Give each other space and let them do the things they love. Most people tend to interfere a lot in each other's decisions and life in general and this can cause a lot of frustration.
• Try and seek help if both of you are keen to save the relationship. You can seek the help of a counselor who will be able to identify the problems and offer simple solutions.
• Most of us tend to have hectic lifestyles and do not devote time and attention to the person we love. No relationship can survive if it is not nurtured and cared. It would be advisable to devote some time to things that you loved doing earlier.
• Do not be possessive and jealous as you will only stifle the relationship by displaying such emotions. Build trust and explore new horizons together or as separate individuals.
• Listen to your partner. There are many verbal and non verbal cues that we tend to miss when we do not listen in an attentive manner to what our partner is saying.

These simple tips on how to save your relationship will help you rebuild it and live happily.

Visit http://thecoupleconnection.net/ to learn more about how to save your valuable relationship.

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Can Toxic Shame Make Someone Feel Unlovable?

Relationships: Can Toxic Shame Make Someone Feel Unlovable?
By Oliver JR Cooper

Human beings are interdependent and this means that relationships are a vital part of their ability to survive and to thrive. And while they need to have relationships with others, they also need to be in relationships that are fulfilling.

For instance, one could be in a relationship and have a certain need met or a number of needs, but it doesn't mean that it is enhancing their life. They could be in a situation where they are better off by themselves and away from the person they are currently with.

Abuse

Here, one would be in a relationship that is mildly or even extremely abusive. Their foot is then in the door so to speak, but once they are in the house, they end up feeling even worse than they did before they came in.

And even though this relationship is not healthy and this could be one of many that one is in, it doesn't mean they can just leave. They could find themselves in a position where they are unable to walk away. It then doesn't matter how unfulfilling it is or how abusive the person is, as the relationship continues.

Value

If one is in this position, it would be normal to say that they clearly don't value themselves. This means that they don't just have an external problem; they also have an inner problem. For if they did end the relationship and walk away, there is a strong chance that they will walk into another relationship that is just as bad.

This might not be the case and something might have changed within them, but this is not something that always happens. This is because if one is still the same on the inside and they don't value themselves, then the people they are attracted to will be the same.

A Reflection

From the outside, how another person is being treated might looking shocking and be seen as something that needs to stop. However, if one treats themselves like this on the inside, then it is not going to stand out.

How another person is treating them is therefore normal and no worse than they treat themselves. But this doesn't always stand out, as it is not always easy to notice how one treats themselves.

Another Option

One might not even be in a relationship, but the desire to be in a loving relationship is not something that is likely to disappear. It might be something that one ignores and does their best to push out of their awareness from time to time, but it is still going to be there.

They may have a pattern of attracting people who are abusive or who are unable to treat with them respect, appreciation and kindness. It is then not so much that attracting people is something they struggle with, what is the problem is attracting someone who values them.

Inner Experience

On the inside, one might wonder why any would want to be with them or if another person would ever love them. One can then end up feeling like a victim and that they have no control.

Or one might be out of touch with what is going on within them and channel their frustration towards other people. Other people are then seen as the problem and the reason why one is not in a relationship where they are being treated in the right way.

Not Enough

So if one believes it is not possible for other people to love them or even if they blame other people for what is taking place, it can cause them to come to the conclusion that they need to be more. What this means is that one can become obsessed with self-development.

As who they are is not enough, one can end up believing that they need to be more and that they need to develop themselves. And once they do this, they will finally be enough and that will make them lovable.

Outlook

While there is nothing wrong with working on oneself, if one believes they are not enough to begin with, this outlook is only going to lead to more problems. Even if one does attract someone who responds in a certain way towards them, one can still feel as though it is for what they do and not for who they are.

And through trying to be more, one is simply reinforcing their outlook that they are not lovable as they are. So while it might seem as though one can either get caught up in how they feel or avoid how they feel, there is another option.

Toxic Shame

The other option is to look at and deal with why one feels unlovable to begin with. And one reason why one can feel unlovable is because they're carrying toxic shame. This is something that is going to make one feel as though they are less-than human.

They can feel as though they are deeply flawed, and one won't feel bad from time to time, they are bad. So if this is how one sees themselves, feeling unlovable is perfectly normal.

The Cause

This could relate to what happened during ones childhood years and these early experiences may have continued throughout ones adult years. During these early years, one may have been physically and verbally abused, and/or they may have been neglected.

And as these emotional experiences of the past have remained within them, their view of themselves has stayed the same. One may find that they these early experiences are re-created by the people they come into contact with.

Awareness

The emotional experiences of the past that have remained trapped within one's body will need to be faced and released. This is something that can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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Blessed to Be a Blessing, Cursed to Be a Curse

Blessed to Be a Blessing, Cursed to Be a Curse
By Steve Wickham

You can be an Atheist all you really like,
But will that help you to be kind?
Will you be blessed in being a blessing,
Or are you relationally blind?

Those who hate God,
Find it hard to love,
They cannot see benefit in blessing,
They can't see how love's from above.

Hurt people hurt people,
Cursing procures cursing,
If only we can see with our own two eyes,
Love's the matter of heavenly rehearsing.

***

Blessing and cursing are matters of life and death. When we choose to cut someone off, or turn a blind eye upon someone who could do with our help, we choose what is not only not good for them, but it's no good for us, either. We are bringers of death. But when we do something that costs us nothing apart from bending our back a little both of us receive something of kindness. We are bringers of life.

Kindness costs nothing in the overall scheme of things; it delivers inherent benefit:

"... be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you."
Ephesians 4:32 (NRSV)

The key to wisdom in life is kindness; to find it within ourselves to forgive a human being for being a human being.

Whenever we connect that the Christian faith is all about blessing others, we finally understand that the Christian faith - properly practiced - is the way to a pleasant life where anger, greed, lust, and pride need not reign anymore.

The Christian faith is centrally about the teachings of Jesus regarding how we are to relate with our world. It is never acceptable for a Christian to hate other people, or to be inconsiderate and disrespectful. And as soon as the Christian applies what Jesus teaches they are blessed in being the blessing that God wills them to be. They are happy and content; joy and peace are theirs; they have achieved the objective, which is to put others first so God can bless them in being a blessing.

It's appropriate to feel good when we have blessed someone, but we are to leave it at that; to just enjoy the feeling and not talk about it.

What is the point of walking around angry all the time? What is the point in never being happy because our goalposts keep moving; because we never have quite enough money? What is the point in striving for position, because sooner or later we will end up disappointed?

Why do we choose a moment's death instead of a moment's life?

The Christian life is the best life because we strive to be a blessing. Being a blessing produces joyous happiness. But the angry life is a dead end; it harms others and it harms us.

� 2014 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Baptist pastor who holds Degrees in Science, Divinity, and Counselling. Steve writes at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com.au/ and http://tribework.blogspot.com.au/

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Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Believe That People Can't Be Trusted?

Relationships: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Believe That People Can't Be Trusted?
By Oliver JR Cooper

It is important for human beings to work together, and this is because they're interdependent; they need each other. So when they're able to put their differences to one side and to find a common ground, their own lives are going to be a lot easier.

This doesn't mean that everyone needs to get along; this is not something that is likely to happen and it is not something that needs to happen either. But just because someone doesn't get along with someone else, it doesn't mean that they have to cause them harm.

One can just accept their differences or the fact they don't have a connection, and carry on with their life. It might not even get this far and one might not even open up a dialogue with the other person.

There is then going to the people that one will never come into contact with on this planet. One will never know what would happen if they did come into contact with them and it will always remain a mystery.

A Strong Connection

However, when one is close to another person it is likely to be built on mutual trust. And while there will be other elements involved, trust will be one of the most important things.

This is something that will form a certain outlook for each person and it will allow them to settle down, and to feel more at ease in each other's company. When one is with the other person they will be able to open up and when they are not in their company, one will know that what was said is in safe hands.

The Type Of Relationship

When it comes to the trust that one has in their relationship with a friend, it is going to be different to the trust that they experience in an intimate relationship. The expectations are going to be different and this is because there is a different type of connection involved.

For example: what a friend does with a member of the opposite sex or the gender they're attracted to is not something one is generally going to worry about; unless it involves the person that they're with.

Expectations

So the expectations that one has will all depend on the type of relationship and what trust means to them. Either way, one is going to want to be able to open up and to tell someone something, without having to worry about whether the other person is going to tell someone else.

Each experience that one has will then re-enforce their belief in the other person's trustworthiness. If another person lets them down, it might be dismissed and just seen as being a one-off. It can all depend on what takes place, or how sever it is.

Normal

What this comes down to, is that there are going to be some people who're able to trust others and this is what is normal, and then there are going to be other people who are unable to trust others and this is also what is normal. As a result of this, each person is going to have expectations that are radically different and their experience on this planet is going to be different.

The person who can trust others might have friends who let them down from time to time, but for the person who can't, they might have friends who're always letting them down. In fact, they might find it hard to let people into their life and while they might have friends, they might not be very close to them.

Suspicious

Other people are then not seen as trustworthy, they are viewed with suspicion. It might not matter what they do, as one could always have the same outlook. Their previous experiences with people might have made it hard for them to see that people can be trusted.

Not trusting other's is then a way for them to protect themselves and to stop other people from taking advantage of them. As their inner outlook is that people can't be trusted, their outer reality is going to validate this perspective.

Staying Safe

One is then in a position where trusting others is not safe and if one was independent, it wouldn't matter. But as one is interdependent, this is going to have a negative affect on their life.

However, all the time one continues to have experiences where other people let them down and these experiences will re-enforce their inner outlook, it is going to be a challenge for one to break the cycle. To see that while not everyone can be trusted, it doesn't mean that this applies to everyone on the planet.

Predisposed

It could be said that one's adult experiences are the reason why one can't trust other people. Based on this outlook, it will be important for one to question the beliefs that these experiences have created and to create new ones.

But there is also the chance that these adult experiences are just a reflection of what happened during their childhood years. What happened during this time caused them to believe that people couldn't be trusted.

Childhood

The kind of attachment that one forms with their primary caregiver will often define what their relationships are like as an adult. And a vital part of this attachment is trust. As a baby and then as a child, one would have needed their caregiver to be there for them on a consistent basis and to protect them from harm.

But while this is what one would have needed, it doesn't mean this is what they experienced. This could have been a time where one experienced abuse and their needs were ignored.

Inner Model

These early experiences would have created ones inner model of what people are like and one has then continued to re-create these early experiences in their adult life. During these moments, one would have experienced certain feelings and they would have created certain beliefs.

Awareness

One could change the beliefs and that might be enough, but they might also need to process their feelings. This will involve facing the feelings that have remained trapped in one's body for all these years and releasing them. And with the assistance of a therapist or a healer, these can be released.

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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Is Grieving Unmet Childhood Needs An Important Part Of Having Healthy Relationships?

Relationships: Is Grieving Unmet Childhood Needs An Important Part Of Having Healthy Relationships?
By Oliver JR Cooper

While one can have the need to experience relationships that are fulfilling and life affirming, it doesn't mean that this is what takes place. Instead, one can end up in relationships that are not only unfulfilling, they could also be extremely abusive.

And if this was an area of life that had little, if any, significance, it wouldn't matter what ones relationships were like. But as relationships are the bedrock of one's life, this is not an area that they can simply overlook.

This doesn't mean that one will always face their relationships challenges head on; as they may end up doing everything they can do avoid them. In the short-term, this might allow them to feel better, but in the long-term, their problems are likely to get worse.

Different Experiences

While human beings live on the same planet, their experiences on this planet are not the same. For instance, some people are going to be in a position where they have relationships that are generally fulfilling and this might be how it has always been.

There are going to be other people who are in the same position, but while this is what is normal now, it is something they have had to work hard for. As a result of this, they could have a greater appreciation for what they have, as they know what it's like to be on the other side.

For Others

There is then going to be other people who are used to having relationships that are far from fulfilling. This could be what is normal, and the only thing they have ever known. And while this is not how they would like their life to be, it could be seen as the only option they have.

This doesn't mean that one will never get their hopes up, as they could meet someone who they think is different, or the person they're with could create the impression that they will change. But in both cases, the outcome may well be the same and one is back where they started.

Conclusion

One could then come to the conclusion that there is something inherently wrong with them and there is nothing they can do. Other people could be seen as having something they don't or one might believe that they are just 'unlucky'.

When ones life is not going to plan, it is normal for their mind to come up with all kinds of reason as to why that is. These reasons might reflect reality and yet, they could have no basis in reality.

The Story Maker

Ultimately, the mind is the story maker and there is no limit to what it can come up with. So while one could believe that the reason they are unable to attract the relationships they desire is because of what is taking place externally, it could be the result of what is taking place within oneself.

What is taking place externally is then a reflection of what is taking place in one's body, but if one is out of touch with their body, they're unlikely to see this connection. The mind can cause can one to believe that they are just the observers of their reality and that they're therefore victims. However, when one is in touch with their body and aware of how they feel, they will soon see this is not the case.

The Same Old Story

So when one has relationships that are unfulfilling, they might become aware of a certain pattern. Perhaps one is constantly attracted to people who are unavailable in some way and/or who're unable to love them. They're then used to looking for love in all the wrong places.

It could be that one is attracted to people who are controlling or abusive. At first, they may come across as being: loving, kind and even generous, and then as time passes, the mask drops and their true nature appears.

A Common Approach

If one reached out for support, they mind end up being told that they need to deal with their beliefs. As the reason they keep attracting these kinds of people is because of what they believe.

This would be classed as a top down approach and it would only relate to the mind. It wouldn't give one any insight as to what is going on in their body. If one is having these experiences, they're bound to have beliefs that are far for supportive.

The Body

However, what is going on in one's mind and therefore the thoughts and beliefs they have, can be the result of what is taking place in their body. This is because ones thoughts and beliefs do not always define how they feel; their thoughts and beliefs can be a consequence of how they feel.

When one disconnects from how they feel and this is what often happens when how they feel is too painful to face, it doesn't just disappear, it stays trapped in their body. And this can relate to the pain that one experienced as a baby, a child and throughout their adult life.

Unmet Childhood Needs

During ones childhood years, they may have had moments where their needs were ignored, or it might have been far worse. This could have been a time where ones needs were rarely, if ever, met.

And although one is no longer a baby or a child, what happened during these years can be the driving force behind their behaviour as an adult. It is then no longer ones caregivers who are not meeting their needs; it is the people they come into contact with as an adult.

A Deeper level

At a deeper level, one is repeating the past and is looking towards other adults to give them what their caregivers couldn't. This is not something that happens consciously, as one is unlikely to be aware of it.

And in a lot of cases, these will be needs that no other adult can fulfil. This part of oneself is looking towards others to fulfil these needs and although the same thing happens over and over again, to face this truth is likely to be extremely painful.

Grieving

If one was to face their pain of not getting their needs met during their childhood, it will be painful, but it won't last forever, whereas, if one doesn't face this pain, they are going to continue to attract the same people into their life and to have the same relational experiences.

And as one grieves their unmet childhood needs, their beliefs will change and so will their thoughts. This shows it is not about changing anything, it is simply about facing ones pain.

Awareness

So along with the grief, is likely to be: loss, shame, powerlessness, hopelessness, helplessness and even death. As one faces these feelings and feels them to completion, their relationships will begin to change. This can be done with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -
https://www.facebook.com/OliverJRCooper

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Technology and Relationships: To Connect Or Disconnect

Technology and Relationships: To Connect Or Disconnect
By Susan Derry

Technology is neither helpful nor hurtful for relationships; it is how we choose to use technology that determines whether we harm or help our relationships. We need to examine whether we are controlling our use of technology or we are allowing technology to control us.

If we allow technology to monopolize our time and attention, our relationships will suffer from disconnection. Technology can be a tool that challenges relationship in the following ways:

Miscommunications happen all the time in relationships, but miscommunication is exponentially increased via text message. It is too easy to misinterpret or assume the tone of the message.

It is far easier to be cruel to a loved one via text or email. Angry, hurtful words can be sent off in seconds, without the opportunity to see the effect those words have on others.

Not being present when we are with our loved ones is a dangerous use of technology. When we give more of our attention to our computer, phone, television or electronic games than we give to the people around us, we are seriously eroding our relationships.

If we choose to control our use of technology it can help us connect with our loved ones. Technology can be an aid to strengthening relationships in the following ways:

Facetime, Skype, ooVoo and others can help us feel close, even when we may be half a world away.

Electronic calendars and reminders on phones can help us remember important events, dates and times. We can help ensure that our loved ones feel remembered and cared about, by setting reminders ahead of time to send cards or purchase gifts.

Receiving and sending a kind, thoughtful, funny or loving text, email or phone call throughout the day can help us feel connected when we are busy and apart.

Technology makes it easy to display photos of loved one; photos of fun and treasured moments, as screen saver or phone background, can bring a smile to our face and help us feel close.

As wonderful as technology is for helping us connect; virtual intimacy can never replace actual intimacy. We need the eye contact, the touches, hugs, smiles and time together. Take a few moments to evaluate whether your choices around the use of technology are helping or harming your relationship. Choosing to use technology wisely can help build and strengthen our relationships. Allowing technology to consume and distract us from our time together has the opposite effect.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.T.C., M.T.C., C.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples.

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Looking Through The Eyes of Love - Abuse Through A Child's Eyes

Looking Through The Eyes of Love - Abuse Through A Child's Eyes
By Alexa Keating

He was barely fourteen now; he stood staring at the rocks below, at the water that streamed over them and into the pools that formed just under the dam. He had spent a lot of time here, some just to think, some to fish and most times, to escape.

His mind drifted back, back to find the earliest memory he had of being alive. He had an uncanny ability to recall things accurately that had happened when he was only two. People were surprised by this; Riley thought everyone did it so he never understood the reaction he received.

Vaguely there seemed to be a time filled with innocent joy. He almost remembered seeing his mother's face when he woke in the mornings and after naps, seeing her smile and hearing her comforting words. Life was good then. He was sure of it.

Suddenly the memories shifted; his mother's new boyfriend moved in; he was three by then. Things changed swiftly. Somehow the man seemed to find him repulsive; every comment he made was intended to help his mother see why her little son had no value, how much the child interfered with their life together, how much he wanted Riley gone.

He could feel the change in his mother; could see the way her eyes looked away from him now, could hear the constant criticism of his every move. She wanted her little son to be perfect so he would not anger her boyfriend, yet nothing seemed to change his mind.

There was no outward indication that she noticed that her son had not changed at all, but that she had changed everything for her boyfriend. The little child was angered by his mother's disapproval and withdrawal from him. He rebelled by lashing out and misbehaving. This only made things worse. Riley's beautiful life had become a nightmare.

He entered school when he was barely five. Gone were the giggles and whispers and shared laughter between Riley and his mother. She held his hand tightly, scolding him for tripping, seeming not to notice that his eyes were staring downward almost all of the time. There was no longer any joy in his life. It had become a string of criticism, punishments, name calling and angry shouts of why he was such a failure and caused so much trouble.

Her boyfriend beat him if he talked back; Riley retreated into an angry silence. A closer look would have revealed the pain that had settled deep into his heart and shone in his eyes. His spirit had long ago been broken.

There had been a time when he woke up hoping his mother's boyfriend had left as he had promised to do in every fight. That was followed by the horror of knowing his mother would rather see him gone than her boyfriend. She had somehow begun to believe all the terrible things he shouted at her young son. "Riley was a worthless kid from the day he was born." Riley believed it now. He fought back the bitter tears that were always ready to fall across his cheeks. Nobody cared. Nobody, nobody, nobody cared... Riley knew those awful words were true.

Maybe because his eyes were downcast, maybe because his mother warned the teacher that he was "a handful' and not to spare the rod, Riley entered school and was immediately labeled as a problem child. The teachers treated him differently; the bullies found him an easy target. He was practiced at being a victim. By first grade, his life had become a continuous fight to survive the bullying at school and abuse at home.

It was an oddity that Riley managed to make really good grades, turn in is homework, join in the school sports and catch the attention of several girls. It was difficult to know whether they were attracted to his 'bad boy' image or his striking good looks. Yet none of this was enough to stop the bullying, name calling or the fights he barely escaped from.

Riley was old even while he was really young. The disappointment he had swallowed about his mother was very painful He wondered why she couldn't love him. He tried so hard.

He looked into the eyes of the students, boys and girls alike, who had been calling him names and shouting jeers and taunts for years. He knew he had everything in common with them and nothing at all to create the extreme bullying.

He stared at the teachers, the principal's, and the minister at church and wondered why they never once, not once, spoke the truth about what was happening to him. Not a single person had ever stood up and made any effort to talk about it or to stop it. They just watched it happen and turned their eyes away. And Riley swallowed more and more of the bitter tears, knowing it must all be true or they would have stopped it.

Riley was lonely, all the time. Even when he was playing on the team at school, even when he was in a crowd, he was lonely. He understood now that loneliness meant not being able to communicate how he felt to anyone and worse, not being able to find anyone who cared enough to listen. That is what real loneliness is he thought.

All the people who loved him, the people he should have been able to trust to protect him, all of them had let him down and turned a blind eye to what was happening to him. He stood silently, looking through the eyes of love that belonged to all these people. No one cared. And now, neither did Riley. He felt like a tired old man.

Riley died as he had lived; alone and making little noise as his broken body crashed into the rocks below. A simple two-line note was tied to his back pack. "I loved you so much Mom. I wish you could have loved me too."

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Is He Looking For A Relationship Or Someone To Casually Date?

Is He Looking For A Relationship Or Someone To Casually Date?
By Helena Hart, M.A.

Women ask me all the time, "How can I tell if a man is looking for a serious relationship, or if he just wants to casually date? What can you look for early on in dating to be able to tell so you don't waste time?"

Some men are looking for life-long partnership, some men are born wanting that - and some men are born wanting freedom. Some men are just not cut out for long-term relationships - they're just not willing to learn what they need to learn or do what it takes to "get the girl."

Different men have different capacities and abilities at different moments in time, and there are all kinds of different matches for you.

Some people are cut out for domesticity, and some people are cut out for "freedom."

The truth is, domesticity and a dangerous, "exciting" type of man don't mix very well. Domesticity by nature might seem kind of boring - it's "everyday" and it's about familiarity, which some people say eventually kills sexual attraction.

I believe you have to work through that to build INTIMACY. Intimacy, in my opinion, is a way IN to sexual attraction.

Practically speaking, when it comes to dating, if a man isn't 100% available for the kind of relationship you're looking for - he doesn't get one second of your time, energy, or attention. That's a REQUIREMENT, because I know how easy it can be to get all wrapped up in these "exciting" men who just aren't cut out for long-term partnership!

That's why it's so important to not invest in any ONE man until he's offering you everything you want.

For example, if you're looking to have kids within the next couple of years and that's really important to you, you don't want to invest your time and energy into someone who "might want kids someday" or someone who says he doesn't want kids - and hope you'll change his mind. That's a recipe for disappointment and heartbreak.

For these bigger issues, a man has to be on the same page as you for him to even qualify - and his energy has to be coming TOWARDS you.

If a man's energy isn't coming towards you - or if you can't feel relaxed and be yourself around him - just drop him! It's not worth your time or energy to even THINK about a man who's not totally crazy about you. If he's not, just forget about him and move on to the type of men who would do anything to be with you!

The key is to let men do what they're going to do, while you lean back and just WATCH them to see whether or not you're on the same page, without getting hung up on any one of them until they decide to STAY - until they come across with what you're looking for in a relationship.

Dating may seem like a full-time job - and yet if what you want is a meaningful, fulfilling relationship - I believe it's totally WORTH the full-time job!

For more free dating and relationship advice, visit www.helenahartcoaching.com. You can instantly download your FREE eBook copy of "3 Keys To Attract The Man You Want" and book a FREE 30-minute coaching session with me!

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